Cleavage and Killer Ducks

Now that I've got your attention...we'll start with the killer duck. If you're interested in 1 min and 25 seconds of watching a duck snap at my hand, go ahead and let me know, and I'll include the video in my next post. Otherwise, here is my friend Alfredo; we're friends with benefits actually. He gets bread from me, I get to pet him. I named him Alfredo because he looks Italian and is clearly part of the mafia. Or would be if there was a duck mafia. Actually, him and Dark Wing Duck are close associates. Anyway, Alfredo followed me around, nearly snapping off my fingers and refusing to leave me alone. I can't say it's the first time I've been attacked by a duck, Alfredo has had predecessors, but so far he is the best. They can be ferocious. Perhaps that why Jared is going duck hunting next month (which I still think is a little harsh). 

As for the cleavage, Jared and I went to the Renaissance festival this past weekend. I knew it would be fun. I've been wanting to go for years - this time I just got the tickets and told Jared several months in advance there was no choice about the matter. He accepted reluctantly knowing all the things I do but don't want to.  When we were walking up, I noticed massive amount of cleavage and belly fat spewing out of tight wench and gypsy outfits.  So I knew it would be great, and Jared and I were laughing before we even got into the gates. Actually, Jared was already pretty horrified and kept commenting on the crazy people. But I love crazy people. It's one reason I chose psychology as a major, so I was delighted. I already starting to look at costumes that I want to wear next year.

It took a while, but even Jared starting enjoying himself; mostly due to this massive turkey leg. And then he did an ax throw - poorly, I have to say. He didn't even get one in the wood. Followed by more food. I was feeling pretty sick by the end of the day due to the funnel cakes, rootbeer floats (Black Cow), and sausage on a stick. But I did like how everytime I bought something they said, "Thank ye, m'lady." That almost made the outrageous prices worth it. 

I don't know why he think this face looks tough, but its the one he makes when that's what he's trying to indicate.

We also went to several shows - belly dancers, jousting competitions, falconer's exhibition, and a mud show where this guy actually ate a handful of mud. It was horribly disgusting, but the show was funny.

The jousting competition - there was some nasty splintered wood after the brawl.

But I have to say the best part for me is pictured below. I knew I would have a good time, but I had no idea my life long dream was about to come true. I've loved elephants as long as I can remember, and that day - I got to touch and ride on one! When I saw the opportunity, I  just looked at Jared and said, "I don't care how much it costs - I'm doing it." Here I  am paying no attention to anything but the elephant. I couldn't get over how he felt. 

 The coolest elephant ever.

The point here is that it was a good time. Next year, there will be pictures of me in a renaissance style dress to look forward to. :)